AUTHOR: Schnozz DATE: 12/28/2005 02:02:00 PM ----- BODY:

After suffering for two days in the Library's Quiet Room,* which has a loud ticking clock and forces me to face the wall and makes me feel as if I am being punished, but has the advantage of a power outlet ... ... I just discovered the power outlets under a little hatch by the leg of each ordinary, sunny, happy, bustling library table. That maniacally giggling person who just plugged her laptop in near the Audio Books section is not homeless. So stop thinking she is. For one thing, she doesn't smell.** Plus, what kind of homeless person is plugging in a Dell Latitude? Huh? ------ *But the Quiet Room doesn't SMELL. So it's always a tough decision. **But the lady who is two tables back certainly does. The fact that humans can generate such a disastrous odor that radiates over fifteen feet from our bodies is solid proof that there is no God. Seriously. Fifteen feet. If you think I am exaggerating, perhaps you should move to a city, so you can have your horizons widened, then suffocate. (To be fair, I made it four hours here before the first noxious person came in.)

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